I Can't Let Go Read online

  Copyright © 2019 Chenell Parker

  Published by Chenell Parker

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without prior written consent of the publisher, except in brief quotes used in reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living or dead, or to the real locals are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents are entirely coincidental.

  Click the link to join Chenell’s readers group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/chattypattys/

  OTHER TITLES BY CHENELL PARKER

  (In Order):

  HER SO CALLED HUSBAND PARTS 1-3

  YOU’RE MY LITTLE SECRET PARTS 1-3

  YOU SHOULD LET ME LOVE YOU

  CHEATING THE FUTURE FOR THE PAST

  PARTS 1-3

  YOU’RE NOT WORTH MY TEARS

  WHAT YOU WON’T DO FOR LOVE

  CREEPIN’: A NEW ORLEANS LOVE STORY

  PARTS 1-3

  COMPLICATED PARTS 1-3

  NEVER KNEW LOVE LIKE THIS PARTS 1 & 2

  HATE THAT I NEED YOU

  I HEARD IT ALL BEFORE

  I DON’T WANT YOU BACK

  AS LONG AS I’M THE ONLY ONE

  TWO MILLION REASONS WHY

  HEARTBREAK AND PAST MISTAKES

  THREE IS A CROWD

  WORST CASE SCENARIO

  A TRILLION TO ONE

  K imora groaned inwardly as she listened to her sister, Kimiko, and their father, Alvin, in yet another argument. After sneaking out of her window the night before, she felt like she’d just gone to sleep and she wasn’t in the mood. She threw the pillow over her head, but that did nothing to drown out their loud voices. Miko didn’t even live with them anymore, but that mattered none to their father. Every time she stepped foot in their house, Alvin found something different to argue with her about. Kimora knew that it was only a matter of time before her mother, Renita, feigned a headache just to get them to shut up.

  “I just don’t understand y’all. I’m out here trying to uphold the law and it’s my own damn kids who’s out here breaking it. I’ve already lost one son, I’m not prepared to lose any more of my kids,” Alvin argued, making Kimora’s eyes fill with tears.

  It had only been about six months since her oldest brother, AJ, and his eight-month pregnant girlfriend were gunned down in the middle of traffic. Their family took it hard and they still hadn’t recovered from it. It was even worse when they saw the baby girl, whom they never got a chance to meet, laid next to her mother in the casket.

  “Why do you always have to bring up AJ every time we have an argument?” Miko yelled angrily.

  “Because I can see you going down the exact same path,” their father replied.

  “Selling dope is not why my brother is no longer here,” Miko reminded him.

  That part was true. Although AJ was very deep into the dope game, that wasn’t what ended his life. His girlfriend Shania’s ex-boyfriend was the one to blame for that. When she left him for AJ, he just had a hard time letting go. If he hadn’t gone to jail for a year prior to their deaths, Kimora was sure that he would have probably ended their lives sooner. When he got released, not even a week later, he followed them from Shania’s mother’s house and gunned them down in broad daylight. He didn’t even try to run. He waited right there on the scene until the police came and arrested him. He didn’t make it to trial because he was beaten to death not even a month after he got there. AJ was well known and loved by many, so no one was surprised.

  “Maybe not but that’s gonna be the death of you. Either that or back to jail. Mark my words,” Alvin replied after a while.

  “Okay, that’s enough! Thanks to y’all with all this yelling, I got a damn headache now,” Nita complained, just like Kimora knew that she would.

  “I didn’t come here for all that. I only came to get Kimora,” Kimiko noted.

  “As if Kimora doesn’t have enough bad habits. Now you want to teach her even more. I’m telling you now, don’t call me when shit gets bad. I’m not putting my job or reputation on the line for y’all hardheaded asses. You out here with that no good ass nigga selling dope, instead of trying to set an example for your younger brother and sister. Albert is out here smoking weed and cutting classes and Kimora can’t go a week without getting into a fight. I can’t wait to get the hell out of New Orleans. Nita can keep pacifying y’all if she wants to but I’m done!” their father yelled right before the front door slammed.

  “You know I’m not one to fuss at y’all all day like your father does, but I do worry about you. Just be careful out there Kimiko,” Renita said once her husband was gone.

  “Always,” Kimiko replied before she walked away.

  She was pissed as she headed down the hall to her little sister’s bedroom. She had called her five times but Kimora never answered once. She knew that she’d snuck out of the house the night before and she was probably still sleeping.

  “Don’t even start. Nobody told you to come this early. I said come at one,” Kimora said as soon as her big sister opened her bedroom door.

  “Bitch, it’s almost two,” Kimiko noted.

  “For real? Damn,” Kimora said as she stood up from her bed and stretched.

  Kimiko smiled as she admired her sister’s perfectly toned body. Kimora was shaped like her and their mother, only better. She had sharper hips and an ass that she could balance a glass on without making it fall. Her stomach was ridiculously flat and she had it pierced. Kimiko was always checking grown ass niggas behind her because they always tried to get with her. Kimora was only sixteen years old but she was wise beyond her years. That was mostly due to Kimiko and AJ not shielding her and their baby brother from the real world. Their father didn’t agree with it, but AJ always said that it was better for them to teach them rather than the streets.

  “What silly bitch did you beat up last night?” Kimiko asked once her sister walked out of the bathroom.

  “How did you know about that?” Kimora asked.

  “Stop asking stupid questions. You know not much gets past Dirty,” Kimiko said, speaking of her boyfriend of three years.

  “It was nothing. Some silly hoe who Prince is fucking,” Kimora replied as she looked for something to wear.

  Princeton was Kimora’s best friend and everybody knew that. He was a dog and everybody knew that too. Still, that never stopped one of his hoes from coming for Kimora occasionally. They were always together and it was always the same shit. She snuck out of the house to go chill with him the night before and ended up getting into a fight.

  “Stupid ass hoes annoy the fuck out of me. Everybody and their mama know that you and Prince have been best friends for years,” Miko noted.

  “Exactly but she had to learn the hard way.” Kimora shrugged.

  Kimora and Prince didn’t have the best relationship when they first met. They went to the same school, even though he was three years older than her. Prince never went to class and Kimora wondered why he even bothered showing up. He was a menace and everybody was either scared of him or wanted to be his friend. While walking from one class to another, Prince and some of his friends were standing in the hall. He decided to show off for his boys and grabbed Kimora’s ass. She was only thirteen years old but she developed her curves early. Any other girl in her position would have probably gone to the office to tell on him but he had Kimora fucked up. She grabbed a pen from her purse and stabbed him in the same hand that he’d touched her with. They cursed each other out like dogs after that but all was forgiven by the end of the day. Prince apologized to her and they had been cool since then. Kimora didn’t know that he was living in a foster home at the time but she
became his saving grace from that day on.

  “Ready?” Kimiko asked once her sister was done unwrapping her brown and blonde highlighted hair.

  “Yep,” Kimora replied while grabbing her purse and following her sister out of the room.

  “I need some money,” Al said as soon as he saw his big sister walking to the front door.

  “For what?” Miko stopped and asked.

  “Shoes and shit,” Al replied as he stuffed his mouth with the big bowl of cereal that he was eating. Albert was two years behind Kimora at fourteen years old but he was a handful already. He was tight with AJ and he really started acting out after his death. Instead of their father trying to get him some help, he quickly labeled him a problem child.

  “Here, and stop cutting class dummy,” Miko fussed while handing him a few bills.

  “I got you and thanks,” he replied as he watched them walk away.

  “What were you and daddy arguing about?” Kimora asked as she hopped into the passenger’s side of her sister’s black Lexus truck.

  “Same shit as always. I’m the family fuck up, remember,” Miko replied.

  “That nigga needs to chill out. It’s like nothing that I do is ever good enough. I’m the only sixteen-year-old senior in my school and the first one in the family to ever accomplish some shit like that. Instead of him being happy for the good shit that I do, he always makes it a point to criticize everything that I do wrong.” Kimora frowned.

  “Well, I’m proud of you baby. I’m twenty years old and barely made it up out that bitch. Shit, I got my diploma from jail. Getting skipped to a higher grade was out of the question. You were always the smartest out of the four of us so I’m not surprised. Roll up,” Miko said as she handed her some cigars.

  Their father was quick to blame Dirty for her selling dope, but it was AJ who got her started five years ago. Miko and her big brother had been in and out of jail for years. It just so happened that she met and fell in love with a man who had the same ambition and hustle that she had. They got money together and were a team.

  “Nobody told his ass to join the police force. Who the fuck stops being a schoolteacher to become a policeman?” Kimora asked.

  “Shit, he can die doing both,” Miko said as they laughed.

  Their father had been a schoolteacher since before they were born until he just up and decided to join the police force about eight years ago. Now, everything that they did was met with criticism. He was working hard to become a detective but he didn’t want to stay in New Orleans when he did. He had been looking at other places who paid more and didn’t have as much crime. Every time he got upset, he always said that he couldn’t wait to leave. Their mother didn’t agree with his career change but Alvin didn’t care. He always did exactly what he wanted to do with no regards for anyone else’s feelings. Their parents’ marriage had been strained for a while and Kimora was surprised that they hadn’t called it quits yet.

  “How much y’all got?” Kimora asked once they pulled up to her sister’s house.

  “Same as last time. It shouldn’t take you too long. I already got everything laid out for you,” Miko said as they got out of the car. When she opened the door, Dirty was sitting on the sofa watching tv.

  “What’s good sis?” he spoke as he got up and hugged Kimora. He took the blunt that was in Kimiko’s hand and took a few pulls as he followed them into the kitchen.

  Dirty was short for Dirty Red, a nickname given to him because of his skin complexion. Dirty’s real name was Brody, but he dared anybody to call him that. Kimora loved him because of the way that he loved her sister. Dirty was hood as fuck but he was a different man when it came to Kimiko. Kimora had never heard about him cheating or doing her sister wrong. He was a thug with a good heart, and he catered to her.

  “Let’s get this over with. I’m starving,” Kimora said as she turned on the stove and got to work cooking up their dope.

  She’d learned a few bad habits from Prince over the years but she wasn’t complaining. She rolled blunts like a pro and whipped up work better than the average chef. She had hands better than Tyson in his prime and she drove like NASCAR was cutting her a check to do it. None of those skills would come in handy if she ever decided to go to college but they came in handy for her now.

  “Damn sis. Your wrist work is something serious,” Dirty complemented once Kimora was done.

  “I learned from the best,” Kimora replied as she took off the lab style jacket that Miko kept there for her. She hated when the baking soda got on her clothes, so her sister made sure to fix that problem.

  “What’s up wifey?” Dirty’s little brother, Bryson, said when he walked into the kitchen. Bryson was a year older than Kimora and he made it known that he had a crush on her. Since their father went to jail a few years ago, Dirty had been raising his only brother. Their mother was around but she was too busy chasing dick to give a damn about him. Dirty was only twenty-three but he took his role as caregiver very seriously.

  “That room better be clean lil nigga. You better not walk out that door until it is,” Dirty warned him.

  “It’s clean bro. I’m rolling with y’all by uncle Ced,” Bryson said as he took a seat next to Kimora and smiled.

  Cedric was their father’s brother and their favorite uncle. It was because of him and his son that Dirty had money in the bank and a roof over his head. Ced had basically stepped up to the plate and became like a surrogate father to them when his brother, Byron, got locked up. He made sure that they were straight, as well as every other member of his family. Ced was one of seven boys but only six of them were left since one of his brothers died.

  “You wanna roll with us sis? It’s their uncle’s birthday and he’s having a little get together at his house. They’ll have plenty of food and drinks over there,” Kimiko noted as she looked at her sister.

  “Yeah, I’m cool with that.” Kimora shrugged as Dirty handed her some money. It was three weeks before Christmas, and she had more than enough money to get herself and her little brother right. Al had expensive taste and their parents didn’t spend that kind of money on him.

  “That’s what’s up. Now I can show everybody my future wife and baby mama.” Bryson smiled.

  “Boy, sit your ass down somewhere. Your brother still has to make you clean your room. Ain’t a damn thing you can do for me,” Kimora fussed.

  Although Bryson was older than her by a year, he was childish as hell. Kimora cussed him out and slapped his hand away from her thighs for over an hour while Dirty and Miko weighed, cut and bagged up their product. She was happy when they were finally ready to go until she realized that she would have to sit in the back seat with his annoying ass. She was so thankful that Miko drove and Dirty let her ride up front. It took them about twenty minutes to get to their destination, but Kimora was in awe when they pulled up to the gated subdivision and parked in front of the huge home. They had palm trees surrounding the front of it and a circular driveway that was large enough to fit at least twenty cars. She didn’t know what Dirty’s uncle did for a living, but he was obviously doing it well. The lawn was filled with inflatable Christmas decorations that looked like they cost a grip.

  “Come on and let me introduce you to everybody,” Miko said as they all piled out of the car.

  Music could be heard as they walked a little further into the yard. It wasn’t too loud and, judging by the area that they were in, Kimora understood why. There was a huge kidney-shaped pool with a hot tub a few feet away from it. The pool house looked to be half the size of the home that she grew up in. Kimora lived a normal middle-class life with her parents but what she was looking at now was on a whole other level. There were a few people scattered around the area but not too many to make her feel uncomfortable.

  “Hola hermosa. It’s good to see you again. Who is this fine chica right here? You’re a pretty one,” a beautiful woman said with a hint of a Spanish accent. She was carrying a tray of sandwiches but that didn’t stop her from sto
pping to speak and give Miko a one-armed hug.

  “Hey Val. This is my sister, Kimora,” Miko replied.

  “It’s nice to meet you baby. My name is Valentina but call me Val. Welcome to my home. Feel free to eat and drink as much as you want to. You’re family. Hey, my boys,” Val said as he kissed Dirty and Bryson on the cheek.

  “Hey auntie. Where is Ced?” Dirty asked.

  “In the house. I just had to tame that wild ass hair of his,” Val said as she sat the tray of covered sandwiches down on the table.

  Val was his uncle’s Dominican wife but she was cool as hell. Ced met her over twenty years ago when he went into her salon to get his dreads twisted. At the time, he had just gotten divorced from his first wife and mother of his five kids. Val had never been married and didn’t have any kids. They dated for a while and got married the same day she found out that she was pregnant with their first son together. He was her only child, and Val loved him and his father more than she loved her own life.

  “Tu casa es hermosa,” Kimora said, telling Val that her home was beautiful.

  “Oh wow! I love you even more. Your Spanish is amazing,” Val complimented.